Fairyland Poetry

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 Your Elfen Fantasy

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Angelica
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Posts : 40
Join date : 2010-07-09
Age : 55
Location : Svea Rike

PostSubject: Your Elfen Fantasy    Sun May 17, 2015 6:21 pm


In my last post about my websites I talked about my personal site, Queen Angelica. I go under the nick Angelica, as it's the name I intended for my fifth child that was never to be. I also spoke alot about my fairytale group Fairyland Poetry, which just like this page here is alot about elves and fantasy. This page was made for my children and all children, living and remembered. These gifts are from that site, which I call Your Elfen Fantasy. At the beginning this site was dedicated to my oldest daughter, who was a wonderful and creative fairy member of my group Fairyland Poetry, and went under the nick Elfen Yavanna. So it was made for Elfen Yavanna, but then I included a webring named Beloved Children to the site and added all the other three children, so it was renamed. I don't really remember all the ins and outs of this, but I think that was pretty much how it happened. Luckily I will not be put on trial for this one, so I don't have to swear it was so. I have had way too many sites and changed them way too many times to remember it anymore. Besides, I forgot everything about my previous life back in November 2011. Truly I forgot it all for awhile, but then some of my memories came back. First who I was and my closest family, and then more and more memories. But things that mattered alot before, like my websites, are not very clear.

I don't know how it works, but to me it was like someone pushed the reset button on me and afterwards I was uploaded again with my memories, but not distorted and manipulated, like before, but clean and honest, as things really happened. It's like a mist or a fog had been lifted and the closest thing I can compare it to, is a computer that has been infected by a virus and you clean it all out before you re-upload a copy of the memory that is without the virus. I've always been obsessed with matters not important, as if focusing on minor little things, like details on my website, obscured matters of greater concern for my psyche, but which was too painful to go into. I don't really know why, but somehow things that used to be painful isn't anymore. Things that used to be tremendously hurtful and horrible to even look at I seem to be able to analyze and contemplate without that much effort after this occured. It was like I saw every action by others in my life for the first time. I remember very strongly how it literary felt like I saw people for the first time and realized things I'd never actually understood before.
Embarassed

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